Consequences
by CaseyL
Summary: What if Deacon waited too long to tell his family about his illness?
1. Chapter 1

**This started off as a one shot, but I decided to do it in two parts instead.**

##

Deacon sat in the doctor's office contemplating what the man had just told him. He needed a minute to take it all in.

"So this is it? There's nothing more that we can do?"

The doctor shook his head slowly. "If we check you into the hospital right now we can keep you alive for a week or so, but that's really all."

"And no hope of a transplant?"

"The test results said that the cancer has spread to your kidneys and your lungs. There's no coming back from that. We warned you that could happen if you didn't do the chemo."

Deacon ran his hand through his hair before angling his eyes away from the doctor down towards his worn out boots. "It was just making me so sick. If I didn't have much life left I wanted to live it."

"I'll call ahead and have them ready to admit you." The doctor reached over picking up the phone, but Deacon stood up putting his hand up to stop him.

"Wait doc. What if I didn't go into the hospital right away? What if I waited a day or two?"

"I wouldn't advise that Deacon."

"I haven't told my family yet."

The doctor looked at Deacon with disbelief. "What do you mean you haven't told them? You've known you were sick for five months Deacon."

Deacon let go of the phone. "I know, I know, but I didn't want them to worry. I'd love to be able to tell them before I go into the hospital. How much time could you give me?

The doctor looked at the chart that listed all of the inner workings of Deacon's slowly declining body. "Well, I could give you a day or two, but that would probably be it. You'd probably be gone pretty soon after we admitted you."

Deacon nodded his head, reassuring himself that this was the right thing to do. "I'd rather be living whatever short time I have left out here than in a hospital room."

"Alright Deacon, if that's really what you want. Just take care of yourself okay?"

"I will doc, and thanks for everything."

Deacon headed out to his truck. He opened the door before pulling himself up into the cab. "Man," he thought. "Even that winds me." He sat there for a minute planning out the next 24-hours before starting the car and heading over to Belle Meade.

##

Rayna was at the sink doing dishes when he opened the door, and didn't hear him come in. Deacon stood in the doorway just watching her for a moment. My god was she beautiful. He thought about the first time he'd set eyes on her at The Bluebird and how beautiful she was then, but that sixteen year old girl couldn't hold a candle to the striking woman he saw before him today.

He walked up behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her. Rayna jumped at his touch. "My god Deacon, you scared the living daylights out of me. I didn't even hear you come in."

Deacon pulled her closer and buried his head in her hair before moving his mouth close to her ear. "I was just standing there watching you thinking how beautiful you looked."

Rayna turned her head and smiled into his big blue eyes. It had been a while since he'd said anything like that to her. In fact, it had been a while since he'd paid much attention to her at all. She was starting to worry that he was lost to her forever, that the mistake she'd made with Luke had crushed any chance they had of mending the hole she'd torn in their relationship. She wasn't sure what caused the sudden change in him today, but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"What are you doing today?" Deacon asked as Rayna turned around in his arms. "I was thinking of writing some, want to join me?" she said.

"Would love to."

Deacon and Rayna settled on the floor in her music room. He pulled one of her guitars off the wall, and she settled with a pad and pen. _Just like old times_, he thought. He was glad he was going to get a chance to do this one more time, something that had always meant so much to them, was the core of them.

They'd been working for about an hour when Deacon stopped playing and put the guitar down. Rayna was deep in thought about a lyric, then all of a sudden she lit up and jotted something down. "What?" She asked when she noticed Deacon was just staring at her. "Nothing," he said and smiled back at her.

"Why'd you stop playing? I liked that tune."

Deacon just stared at her a moment longer before leaning over and kissing her. At first it was soft and slow, but within seconds it became deep and passionate. So passionate in fact that it nearly overwhelmed Rayna. She had to pull back for a moment to catch her breath before throwing herself back into the kiss with just as much fervor. She was on top of him by now straddling him. Deacon lifted the shirt off of her and undid her bra taking one of her breasts in his mouth. Rayna moaned at the sheer pleasure of having his mouth on her again, something she'd desperately longed for over the past few months.

Deacon rocked onto his knees holding Rayna against him, and pushed the coffee table out of the way with so much force that it rolled over on its side. Before she knew what happened he had Rayna on her back on the rug and had pulled her pants off leaving her naked beneath him. She fumbled with his belt and his button between kisses managing to strip him of every vestige of clothing just as quickly.

His kisses were hot and intense, and the moment he entered her Rayna felt like she was about to lose all sense of control. "My love," Deacon whispered in her ear as he rocked inside of her bringing both of them to their peak of pleasure.

Deacon wasn't sure he had any strength left in his body, but he managed to stand up, taking Rayna's hand and leading her to the bedroom where they spent most of the rest of the day in a cocoon of utter bliss. She was curled up in his arms and he was tracing the lines of her face with his fingers. "I love you so much Rayna."

"I love you too babe. I'm so glad you were able to get past all the stuff that went on the past year. You know I'm so sorry for that right?"

Deacon brushed his thumb over her eyebrow and kissed the spot where his finger had just been. "Don't worry about any of that Ray. You know there has never been anyone for me, but you, and there never will be as long as live."

Rayna looked intently into Deacon's eyes. "Me neither," she said breathlessly. "I know I tried to deny it for a while, but I promise you Deacon, never again."

They held each other for a few moments longer until Rayna looked over at the clock. "Oh god, it's almost 2:30. I have to pick the girls up at school."

Deacon pulled her in closer mumbling against her neck. "Don't go."

"I have to, but you know what? Teddy gets the girls back in two days, and after that I'm all yours. We can spend the whole week in bed together. How does that sound?"

Deacon smiled sadly. He knew his next week would be spent in a hospital bed if he even made it that long, but the idea of spending the week in bed with Rayna was so wonderful that he let himself believe that he would be there, if only for a moment.

"That sounds great Ray."

"Good. Now let me up so I can grab the kids." Rayna removed Deacon's arms from around her and was up throwing on her jeans and boots before he could protest. Deacon dressed too and followed her down to the driveway. He pulled her in close to him and pressed her against the car kissing her deeply. "Mmmm," she cooed. "I can't wait until Saturday."

"I was thinking Ray, I told Maddie I'd help her with a chord progression she's having problems with. Maybe I could come over and have dinner with you ladies tonight?"

"We don't have anything special planned, but we'd be happy if you were there."

Rayna noticed that Deacon almost had a tear in his eye, and softened at how emotional he could get. "There's no place I'd rather be Ray."

"Are you alright Deacon? You look a little washed out. Your color seems off."

"I'm fine Ray." He knew he should tell her, but they were having such a wonderful day he didn't have the heart to break hers quite yet.

Rayna ran her hands through his hair and over his face. "Get some rest Deacon, cause I'm gonna wear you out next week." She smiled at him and he kissed her again before letting her get in the car and drive away.

##

The girls were a ball of energy when Deacon arrived for dinner. Maddie was playing her guitar and Daphne was dancing around like a ballerina. Rayna was in the kitchen chopping vegetables when Daphne spun by her almost knocking her over. "Be careful where you're spinning Daphne or else one of us is going to end up with an emergency room trip."

"Sorry mom."

Deacon just stood back and watched. He could hardly believe that this would be last time he'd ever stand in this house, the last time he'd see all of them when it wasn't from the vantage point of a hospital bed. His heart ached at all the years that he'd wanted this but it was always just out of his reach. Now that it was his, now that he could have it for forever, forever was by far too short.

"Hey babe," Rayna said noticing Deacon and giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Dad!" Maddie yelled and rushed over to hug him followed by a calmer Daphne.

Deacon worked with Maddie on the guitar while Daphne watched and Rayna finished dinner. As they ate Rayna noticed that Deacon was pushing the food around on his plate. "I know I'm not the best cook, but it's not that bad is it?"

Deacon smiled. "No, sorry, it's fine." He put some food on his fork and managed to swallow it. "I'm just not that hungry Ray. No commentary on the food."

Rayna was a little wary, but she gave in. "Okay, next time you can cook for us though."

"Sure Ray, it's a plan." Deacon's real plan was to tell Rayna once the girls went to bed, but before anyone knew it dinner was over followed by an impromptu concert by the girls, lots of hugs, and Deacon and Rayna standing by the door at midnight. Rayna threw her arms around Deacon's neck. "I love you. I can't wait to have more wonderful nights like this."

Deacon leaned over kissing her forehead.

"I wish you could stay and hold me all night long, but maybe we should wait a little before we tell the girls."

"That's probably a good idea Ray."

Rayna played with the hair next to his right ear. "Two days. Two days and you can hold me as long and as tight as you want."

"Sounds like heaven," Deacon replied as he kissed the tip of her nose. _It's now or never_, Deacon thought.

Just as he was about to speak Rayna leaned into him and whispered in his ear. "You make me so happy babe. I never thought I could be this happy again."

Deacon sighed. He knew he needed to tell her, but he also wanted to keep her happy as long as he could. "Me too Ray, me too."

He pulled her in for another long and lingering kiss before saying goodnight and heading home. "Well damn." He cursed to no one in particular as he drove home, and then he started to cry."


	2. Chapter 2

**I know this is super sad, but it kind of annoyed me that Deacon is waiting to tell Rayna and the girls so I thought I'd play with that idea of it being too late.**

##

It was just over 24-hours later when Deacon woke up drenched in sweat. He'd barely been sleeping anyway, but now his vision was blurred and he felt like he was going to throw up. He managed to get himself out of bed and into the living room. _All I need is some water_, he said to himself. As he entered the kitchen he felt dizzy and before he knew it he was on the floor.

Scarlett heard the sound of his body hitting the wood and ran out of her room. "Uncle Deacon!" Scarlett rushed over to him before calling 911. He had come back around before they got him in the ambulance and Scarlett held his hand as they put him in the back of the truck. "Call Rayna," he mumbled in one of the weakest voices she'd ever heard. "You need to tell Rayna and Maddie."

Scarlett was devastated, but more than that she was furious. She couldn't believe that Deacon had left this for her to do…at this moment. "I will, when we get to the hospital I'll call her." The moment they reached the emergency room they wheeled Deacon to ICU, and Scarlett stood outside to make a call that she'd hoped she would never have to make. She dialed Rayna's number but it went straight to voicemail. "Rayna, it's Scarlett. Please call me as soon as you get this. It's an emergency."

##

Rayna was knee deep in demos and contracts at the Highway 65 office. She'd texted Deacon in the morning when she'd woken up saying "Can't wait to see you tonight," and was a little sad that she hadn't heard back from him yet. In between meetings she ran into her office to check to see if he had texted her back yet. When she saw she had a voicemail from Scarlett a little alarm went off inside of her. As she listened to the voicemail she started to panic. What if something had happened to him, what if that's why he hadn't texted her back?

She hit call back on her phone, breath held until Scarlett picked up.  
>"Hi Rayna."<p>

"Scarlett, what's the emergency? Is Deacon alright? Where are you?"

"I'm actually at Vanderbilt Hospital."

"Was there an accident? Is he okay?"

"I think you just need to get down here as soon as possible, and bring Maddie."

Rayna stopped breathing. "Oh my god, is he gone, please just tell me now if he's gone, I can't…"

"He's alive Rayna, but get here soon."

Bucky walked in and saw the look on Rayna's face. "What's wrong?"

"It's Deacon, he's been in an accident, I have to go to the hospital. I have to get the girls, I have to…"

Rayna was frantic and wasn't sure what to do first. "Hey, calm down." Bucky took hold of Rayna's hand. "I'll drive you to the hospital and we can call Teddy on the way and he can get the girls okay?"

Rayna nodded her head slowly. "Alright."

Bucky didn't even have the car in park when Rayna jumped out and ran towards the emergency room. She approached the front desk like a ball of fire that was going to take down anything that stood in its way. "Deacon Claybourne, where is he?"

The nurse looked up at a frantic Rayna Jaymes and was taken back by the presence of the superstar. "Oh Ms. Jaymes, he's down the hall to the right."

Rayna ran down the hall before realizing she didn't know what room he was in. All of a sudden a tall man with kind eyes walked up to her. "Ms. Jaymes?"

"Yes." Rayna managed to get out.

"I'm Deacon's doctor. Dr. Rand."

"Is he okay? Was he badly hurt? Did the car flip?"

Dr. Rand shook his head. "I don't understand, he wasn't in an accident Ms. Jaymes."

Rayna was confused. "Oh, I thought…no accident? Then what's wrong, why is here?"

"Deacon never told you?" the doctor sighed.

Rayna shook her head. "He has cirrhosis of the liver which led to cancer." Rayna gasped when she heard the word cancer slip out of the doctor's mouth. "The cancer has spread. There's no hope. He has a day, maybe two."

Rayna stood frozen. She could barely believe what the doctor was telling her. "But, he was fine. Two days ago, he was fine." Even as she said it she knew it wasn't true. She'd picked up on the signs that he wasn't feeling well, but she couldn't have known what it all meant at the time. "How long has he known?"

"Since December."

"December?!" Rayna was incensed. December was five months ago. "Where is he?" Dr. Rand pointed to an open door down the hall. Rayna barged in noticing that Scarlett was sitting by Deacon's bedside holding his hand. "I am so mad at you Deacon Claybourne."

At the sound of her voice Deacon's eyes fluttered open. "Hey Ray," he managed to get out in a sound that was barely louder than a whisper.

"How could you not tell me this?"

Scarlett stood up from the chair and walked towards the door. "I'll give you two some time alone."

Rayna sat in the chair that Scarlett just vacated. "Five months, five months you've known this and you didn't tell me."

"I didn't want you to worry, I didn't want you to feel like you had to take care of me. You spent so much of our life together doing that."

"Are you kidding me?" Rayna asked. "That's why you didn't tell me, because you thought I'd taken care of you too much. I took care of you cause I loved you, and I would do it all over again Deacon, even the worst days of pulling you out of hotel rooms and dropping you off at rehab, I would do all of that again in a second if it meant I could have the last five months with you."

Deacon averted his eyes. He knew she'd be upset when he told her, but he thought he would be more sure that he'd done the right thing. "What am I supposed to tell Maddie? What am I supposed to tell our daughter?"

Deacon didn't reply. By now the tears were streaming from both Rayna and Deacon's eyes. Rayna grabbed his hand and lay her head down on the pillow next to his so her face was pressed up against his neck. Deacon turned his head to look at her and she slowly stroked his face as she kissed him. "I love you so much Deacon."

"I love you too Ray."

"Please don't leave me babe. Please."

"I wish I didn't have to."

"Are you really lying here telling me that this time next week you won't be here anymore, you'll be gone, and I'll never hold you again, never kiss you, never hear your voice, look in your eyes?" Rayna started to get hysterical. "I can't, I can't go on without you. You're a part of me. I can't imagine life without you, I don't even want to begin to imagine it." All of sudden Rayna went from crying to hyperventilating and it was clear that she couldn't breath. She sat up gulping for breath, but it wasn't coming and her flailing body was scaring the hell out of Deacon. He grabbed for his call button and pressed it furiously. The doctor came running in and found Rayna gasping for breath.

"Help her doc." Deacon yelled with as much force as he could currently get into his voice.

"Ms. Jaymes, Rayna. You're having a panic attack. You need to calm down. Put your head between your knees." The nurse rushed in and handed the doctor a needle. "I'm just going to give you a little sedative." The doctor injected the needle into Rayna's arm and her breathing slowly returned to normal. Watching the spectacle going on in front of him Deacon knew for sure that he had made the wrong decision. He should have told her months ago when he could have held her, comforted her with his still strong arms, kissed her tears away. That was so clear to him now.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry," Deacon muttered through his tears. When Rayna's breathing returned to normal she leaned back down once again resting her head next to his. Out in the waiting room Scarlett was drinking some watery coffee when the girls breezed in with Teddy in tow. "Scarlett!" Maddie yelled to her cousin. "What's wrong with Deacon?"

"Maybe I should get your mama to tell you." Scarlett walked into Deacon's room and gestured towards Rayna. "The girls are here."

Rayna nodded her head. "Alright, I'll be back in a minute Deacon." Rayna slowly got up and walked out into the waiting room. The moment she looked at the scared and confused faces on her daughters she cursed Deacon. "Damn him." This is the last conversation in the world she wanted to be having with her daughters. "What's wrong mom? Is Deacon going to be okay?" Daphne asked.

Rayna tried to hold it together, but she couldn't stop the tears from pouring out of her eyes. She shook her head. "Deacon has cancer, and he doesn't have much time left." She noticed the looks of confusion turn to utter shock and despair and she wondered if that's what her face looked like when the doctor had told her.

Maddie ran into Deacon's room flinging herself on top of him. "Daddy! Don't die, please." Daphne ran around to the other side of the bed. "I'm so sorry babies, I don't want to leave you. I love you so much."

"But you and I were going to play together at The Bluebird this summer. You promised." Rayna stood in the back of the room pressed flat against the wall for support as she watched the scene before her, and fully took in the devastation that had been dropped upon her family in the last few hours. She held her hand to her mouth and sobbed watching the tears fall down her daughters' faces.

"I know sweetheart. I know I said that, and I hoped that it would be true, but I only have a short time left." Both the girls and Deacon were bawling. "I want you to know that I love you more than life itself, and being your daddy, well that's been the best gift I could have ever gotten. No matter what life throws at you, I want you to know that you're a Claybourne, and Claybournes are fighters."

Maddie nodded her head and kissed his hand. Then the five of them spent the next couple of hours sitting together just enjoying what time they had left together. Rayna stood up and walked out of the room. She found Teddy sitting in the waiting room alone. "Thanks for staying."

"What else was I going to do Rayna? How long have you known?"

Rayna shook her head and sat down next to him. "I just found out today."

"He really didn't tell anyone? That's so Deacon."

"Will you take the girls home? There's going to be a fight getting them out of here, but they need their sleep."

"Of course. Whatever you need Rayna. I know I haven't always been the biggest fan of Deacon's, but I know how much you love him, and how much he means to you and Maddie. I'm really sorry Rayna."

"Thanks Teddy." Rayna kissed him on the forehead and headed back into Deacon's room. There _was_ a fight getting the girls to leave, but there was a promise that they could come back first thing in the morning, and another promise by Deacon that he'd hold on until then.

Rayna looked at the clock. It read 1:30 am. Deacon was sleeping restlessly and Rayna was just staring at him in disbelief that this was really happening to them. She woke up that morning thinking they'd be spending the night together making love, that this would be the first of many nights spent that way. She could hardly believe that this could be their last night together ever.

Deacon stirred and Rayna reached out to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. "Ray."

"Yeah babe."

"I want you to promise me that you'll find someone else, that you won't spend the rest of your life alone."

Rayna started shaking her head vehemently. "No, don't you dare, don't saddle me with that. If I want to spend the rest of my life pining for you that's my right Deacon."

"Ray, you and the girls, you need to move on. You need to keep living. I want that for you."

"Damn you Deacon. This was supposed to be our life. This was supposed to be our time to finally get things right. We were supposed to grow old together. You promised me."

"When did I do that?"

"You know."

And he did. Deacon thought back to when Maddie was two when he and Rayna were touring.

_They were on the road somewhere out west, Albuquerque if he remembered correctly. The concert the night before had been a disaster. The amp was shot, Rayna's ears weren't working right, and she'd nearly had a meltdown on stage. Luckily she'd saved the meltdown for today during the sound check. She'd gone off on the band about being unprofessional and then stormed out the door. Deacon had found her sitting on top of some steps looking out at the mountains. "I don't know why you're still here putting up with me Deacon. You should be out on your own with your own band."_

_Deacon took her hand in his. "I'll be here as long as you still need me. Do you still need me?"_

"_Always," Rayna said with the unshed tears of a woman who had cried them all out during the first year of her marriage to the wrong man lurking just behind her eyes. "I'll always need you."_

"_Then I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you Ray. I promise. You and I will be eighty sitting on the porch of the cabin, me playing the guitar, you still pretending like you know how to play."_

_Rayna laughed and pushed Deacon a little making him laugh too. "I like the sound of that Deacon. I promise too. That'll be our time. If nothing else, then."_

_Deacon wrapped his arm around Rayna and she lay her head on his shoulder as they both took comfort in their future._

"I really wanted to make it to eighty. I thought I would. Guess I didn't count on all the years of abusing my body. I guess we were wrong. I guess _that_ was our time."

Rayna nodded her head through the tears. "Yeah, you and me on the road. Those years you were sober. Even if we weren't together, we were together, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I wish I could have appreciated how lucky I was back then. I was happy Ray. I know I didn't show it very often, but when we were touring all those years. I was happy."

"Me too babe." Rayna kissed him lightly on both cheeks and then on the lips. She lay her head back down next to him. She was so tired, but she didn't want to miss a moment that he was still with her, and she could take comfort in the rise and fall of his chest signifying that he was alive.

Somewhere in the middle of the night she must have drifted off because she was awoken by the sound of the girls running it. She startled awake, immediately checking to make sure Deacon was still alive. He was and he was looking at her, but she could see the haze starting to creep in. "Come here girls." The girls walked over and took his hands. "I don't think I can hold on much longer, but I wanted to say goodbye." The girls were crying and Rayna was trying to commit everything about him to memory.

"We love you daddy," Maddie managed to get out between sobs.

"I love you too." And with that he was gone. The machines flatlined and the doctors rushed in. The girls were ushered out of the room while they unplugged all of the machines that had been keeping Deacon alive for the past couple of days. Rayna just stood there holding his hand. The doctor stood in the doorway pausing for a moment. "We'll leave you with him for a few minutes, take your time saying a proper goodbye."

Rayna lay down in the bed with him and pulled him close. She rained kisses on his neck and face tasting him for the very last time. He was still warm, but it already felt like he wasn't Deacon anymore. The life that made him special had run out of him, and with it a good portion of Rayna. She lay there holding him tight a few minutes more until the doctor came to get her, escorting her out to be with her family.

##

The next few days were a blur. Rayna felt like she was sleepwalking as preparations were made for the funeral and then all of a sudden she was in a church with hundreds of friends, family members, and fans who all came to pay their respects. Maddie had gotten up and played a song. Rayna wasn't sure how she even had the strength for that. All she felt like doing was getting into bed and sleeping.

Afterwards, the girls went home with Teddy and Rayna took Scarlett home. "Is it alright if I stay a while? I just want to be near his things."

"Of course," Scarlett replied. She went into her room leaving Rayna alone. Rayna stood in the doorway of his bedroom. For a moment it almost felt like she was intruding being there without him, but it was her house, and her bedroom at one time, and she knew he'd want her there. She closed the oak door and took off her high heels. She wandered over to the closet and brushed her fingers over the soft flannels that hung within. She leaned in catching a whiff of is scent before slowly unzipping her dress and letting it pool on the floor. Then she took one of the flannels off of the hanger and put it on, wrapping it around herself tightly.

Rayna looked over at the bed that they had shared and remembered all the times he'd held her through the night, and all the times he'd woken her up at 3:00am to make love to her. She smiled through her tears as she climbed under the covers and let the smell and feeling of him surround her.

Her heart ached so much that all she could do was cry until there wasn't an ounce of moisture left in her body, and finally enveloped in a memory of him she drifted off to sleep.

##

Deacon startled awake, looking around a bit disoriented. He touched his face and his chest to make sure he was still alive. "Where am I? What's going on?"

"Oh, so you finally decided to wake up," Rayna said. "We're at the cabin."

Deacon looked over and saw her lying on her stomach on the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace, mug of hot chocolate in her hand, flipping through some old photographs.

"You must have been really tired from collecting all that firewood, you've been passed out for the last hour on the couch. Or maybe it was from all that energy you expended ignoring me."

Rayna gave him a look and Deacon laughed quietly to himself. "Come here Ray."

"Oh, so now you're speaking to me?"

"Come here Ray." Deacon said a little more forcefully as he patted the couch.

"Alright, I'm coming." Rayna put the mug on the table and took a seat next to Deacon on the couch. She could tell something was bothering him and it worried her.

Deacon put his hand to her face brushing away the hair that blocked it. He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. "I've got something I have to tell you Ray…"

**The End**


End file.
